The Extended Gaze

If you were planning on getting into a staring contest with a bum, think again.

While cursing the ride home on the subway, I looked up only to be greeted by the transfixed eyes of some guy wearing a 1996 Giants windbreaker, with no shoes, and less than stellar credit.  Gazing into the depths of my soul, his blank expression was so paralyzing I barely noticed he was only wearing Splinter boxers.  As in, the 5 foot tall, Japanese American Rat sensei of the Turtles.  But more startling than his wardrobe selection was his unwavering glare.

Because the homeless are void of concern for social norms, violating the rule of ‘no staring at other people ‘ is of no consequence.  Which is why, to re-affirm this directive, I stare right the f*ck back.  And unless they’re totally bat shit, they get the point.